We had no idea how the whole payment thing works, and assumed there are card machines at the hospital. But the sperm freezing place takes its own payments and didn’t have a card machine so I had to go down and find an ATM, go back up to reception (Room 29) where they would call the lab folk to come get the money. R300.
When I entered, I told them why I was there and they asked if my surname was “C…” I said yes. Then they showed me my husband’s folder that they’d been ogling, and while pointing at his salary, asked if that’s really how much he earns, if it’s per month, where he works so they could also go work there, and if it’s true or he made it up.
Why were they looking at that kind of info and what made them think they could grill me over it?
It irritated me. And what irritates me is that this money thing is SO common amongst all POC. I buy my special needs son specific shoes for his feet with pronation, the cashier comments that she’d never buy shoes for a toddler for that amount.
I buy gluten-free bread at Dis-Chem, the cashier comments that it’s a lot of money “for just ten slices of bread. Why don’t you buy normal bread?”
I buy at Edgars (on account) “Yho, this is a lot of money for a takkies…”
At Pick n Pay: “Vegetarian sushi? Is it nice? I’d never buy it, it looks gross. And R36 for THIS?” It goes on and on and on.
And it has never happened to any of my White friends. And there are two … Rephrase: One has a husband who earns what mine does, and the other is a private doctor who earns a similar amount. They both buy at the types of shops I buy at, same prices etc. But this money issue has NEVER come up.
What is it with us POC? We need to stop it, really. If you have nothing constructive to say, then just shut it.
The other night I dreamt this ICSI thing didn’t work and we were trying to figure out who to adopt through. We definitely didn’t want to use the same agency. We went to a children’s home to look at babies because I just wasn’t sure I wanted to adopt any more and not a single one caught my attention, I was just going through the motions. It was a sad dream. I really hope we don’t fail. I’m so broody. I want a newborn that grew in my tummy, not a 4 month old. Maybe these two adoptions scarred me. Or maybe it was just a dream. Who knows?
Maybe it was triggered by how I was passionate about adoption. How each time I heard about available babies, my heart would yearn to just rush and adopt him/her. But now, nope. That strong burning desire is gone. I’m fully invested in closing off with a biological baba. Maybe this will change if we fail, I don’t know. But ja, I woke up feeling sad that the journey to baby was over and my hands would never rock my own biological baby, and nor did they want to rock a baby that would become mine.
Question for Tyg.erbergers: How did you do the payments for the next portions? Did they give you a bill for each day you went and then you had to pay cash on the same day or what? And does the hospital itself take card or you’re somehow meant to have the cash on hand? And WHERE do you pay?