I’ve decided that instead of going silent, I’ll just type my experiences in case someone in the future ever comes across this blog and gets information that I’m struggling to get.
How to do donor eggs in government.
How did we get here?
I’ve always known my FSH and AMH were terrible. I wasn’t negative without cause, I know my body.
Just as much as I know what side effects it’s feeling… Ok, let’s not go there.
I ended up with two eggs. One ugly, one great. One beautiful embryo. And one empty womb and empty pocket.
The doctor asked me if he should give me donor egg information. I told him I’m not made of money and would be going back to ‘the government place.’ I have an appointment for next month. Actually, it’s in exactly a month’s time. Now that we have moved, I also qualify for the other government place and I contacted them in case the original government place is too full this year. They said I should fax in my referral letter and they’d contact me regarding an appointment. Three days later and the weekend has come with no communication. But at least I have an appointment SOMEWHERE. It’s just that SOMEWHERE is chocablock because they have fewer doctors this year. And I don’t know what Dr H will say about me.
I do know he’s told other women with better AMH than me that they should consider donor eggs.
And so… I am back full circle to the day I went to the gynae last year May and received my results.
I’m back seriously considering donor eggs. That day I had even logged onto n.urture’s website and asked for a password to look at donor profiles and I’d found an adoptee who I fell in love with. Maybe because I have adopted children?
She’s still available. And they still charge money, lol.
But my other ‘government place’ friend will be using a known donor, someone who used to clean at her office. And HER friend who fell pregnant used her domestic worker’s eggs to conceive twins. It’s more affordable that way. I just don’t know anybody I could ask!
On the other hand though, I know someone at one of the government facilities who has had three failed donor egg transfers. Donor egg doesn’t mean we’ll suddenly have babies. At the end of the day, implantation is out of our control, no matter how many beautiful embryos we have.
They’ll be going for the final FET. Imagine that! They had multiple transfers from one cycle. A luxury we can’t have with our busted eggs. I really hope this will be the one(s) that stick(s). It’s not nice failing and failing and failing.
This is the last year I work on conceiving. I’ve desired, prayed for it, begged for it for 10 years. If this is not the year, then so be it. The TTC journey ends December 2018.
Hopefully it will end with a swollen belly.
I’m not sure what Dr H will say. If he strongly suggests donor egg, I’ll be ready with my options. If not, I’ll be ready with my eggs. And wondering how long we’ll wait before actually starting treatment. When you’ve spent money twice at a private facility where you can choose your start date, that choice aspect is GREAT but doesn’t matter much if you’re not rich. The money matters. And money doesn’t grow on trees. Sadly, neither do babies! So here we are like the majority of IVFers. Waiting, failing, crying, hoping, waiting.